Happiness is something that we are all looking for, yet how many of us find it, and actually recognise it when we have it. The truth is our days are spent ‘trying’ to get more happiness than pain.
Now to me happiness also means freedom. When I am free to be and do, I am happy. When I apply other ‘peoples’ ideologies to my life, and have tried to follow the script that they have written, it is more difficult to simply be and do ‘happiness’.
So what is happiness? Now here is the thing, for most of us it is going to be different, yet we all know when we have it and when we don’t.
The great thing about happiness or not having enough of it in your life is that you can change it. Not having happiness is not a disease although arguably it is dis-ease of the mind and potentially body. The great news is that in reality about 99% of the unhappiness you feel you can change, because it is down to you and how you choose to be.
Now we all went to school and they taught us lots of ‘stuff’ that they said would be good for us in the future, now I can’t remember ever going to the ‘happiness’ class, can you? So might I have done better at maths if I had been to a happiness class first, I think I would. Have you ever really stopped to think about your own ‘happiness’, I mean really took the time to sit down; in peace and quiet and think what would I have to do to be happier?
What would our children be like if amongst the schedule of the school day they had the ‘happiness’ hour in fact what would our own lives be like if we simply took the time to say ok it’s ‘happiness hour’ and we just did something that made us feel really good. Now it seems to me that I have unconsciously built this in to my life yet, as I am rather greedy I seem to have more than the ‘recommended’ 1 hour, and do you know what it feels great.
One of the biggest enemies of feeling happy is getting caught up in feeling ‘sorry’ for yourself, how many of you recognise that. You spend time thinking you are too fat, too short, too poor, too tired, the world is a bad place and on and on you play that movie in your mind and hey presto you feel shit.
“Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield
to it, we can never do anything wise in
this world.” – Helen Keller
So quite simply stop feeling sorry for yourself. It is often the way when working with clients I ask them what they want, and they tell me what they don’t want, or try to tell me because I stop them and say no what do you want, what would make you feel good, what would make you happy.
So I often tell the tale of going to the cinema to watch a film, and you buy your ticket you get your ‘feel good’ food and drink then go take a seat. Now before the film starts the oh so clever marketing people play ‘trailers’ from the up and coming films, and they show you the sex, the action, the fun, the stuff that has you already reaching in to your wallet to buy yet another ticket to come to watch another film. Now you create your own movies in your mind, you are your own interior decorator. So if you spend time running the movie that is based on how sorry you are for yourself, how bad life is, how unhappy you are….STOP and ask this question would you get the money out of your wallet to watch that movie again??
Now I think most of you are going to say no, why would I waste money on feeling bad, why would I spend money at the cinema on watching a movie that makes me feel unhappy. So now you can start to consider what movies you could run in your mind to make you feel good so that if someone offered you a season ticket to the movies in your mind you would be saying hell yes I’ll have some of that.
So is happiness really that simple. It can be.
Now take a piece of paper and take the time out to write a list of things that make you happy and then put that list someplace that you will see it every day, if you need to duplicate and put it in several places and as you find yourself looking at it you can start to feel happier inside knowing that you can choose happiness and before you know it happiness might choose you.
So go on then, the worst thing that could happen is you start to feel happier now.